Pancake Angst

Sat, 13 May 2006 10:54:41 GMT

I'm thinking about deleting this livejournal and just using myspace. although I like the layout of this one shit-tons better.

Thinking Inside the Box

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 02:30:22 GMT

Hollywood, to me, is the root of all that is evil. They are a self-serving community of people who have no talent other than looking pretty, looking uninterested, and looking at others in disgust as if they are better than everyone.
I used to be secure in the notion that I would never go to California and since it will never affect my universe, it can fall into the ocean and no one would notice. I think I overestimated our society once again.
It seems that no matter where you are, whether it’s the lung-destroying city of Los Angeles or the rural towns that still look like it’s trapped in 1952, self-absorbed teenyboppers walk the streets like the living dead. They share the same diminutive brain, dress in the same designer band T-shirts and studded white belts, and follow the same trends as to not be left out of the inner circle when they retire to the bathroom for a cocaine holiday.
What year is this anyway? 1976? 1984? 1967? What are these people trying to emulate by stealing the fashion of yesteryear and stripping it of meaning? Could it be that the musicians who so desperately try to sound like music that was created a quarter of a decade ago have no talent and no ability to create anything new or at least emotionally charged? Is that why they shit out sterile, non-threatening garbage covered up with a punk/metal Tiger Beat makeover?
These graphic artists, who are a dime a dozen now, steal others images and slightly alter them in some retro propaganda style and pretend that there is some sort of sociopolitical irony stapled to it. They should all be pushed off the top of skyscrapers. Is there really a skill in taking a picture of Johnny Rotten, loading it into Photoshop and then clicking on a Posterize filter? If there is, then I should have been a famous ‘designer’ back in junior high because I did that long ago. It’s almost a spit in the face of every kid who spends hours with an Xacto knife and a glue stick making posters and zines the old fashion way. You’re not allowed to be creative unless you have the creative ‘look’
Marketing has taken proprietary driver’s wheel. It’s a sickening fact. I’ve always been fascinated by marketing. It’s the religion that everyone worships and no one realizes. When a girl likes this band or that band, how much do you want to bet that she only cares about the band because they “have a really cute singer”? When a poor kid spends money on a T-shirt that costs $80 just because there is some rich wanker’s name on it, how much do you want to bet that it’s because a girl expressed to him an interest in that clothing designer?
This is the power of marketing. It’s why dumb motherfuckers think that if they drive a shiny car with chrome rims, they’ll get laid. This is also why they feed off each other, because there will be some other dumb teenybopper who, because of marketing, thinks that guys who drive shiny cars with chrome rims are worth blowing.
You could suggest that I’m only saying this out of bitterness because I can’t afford all the things that would make people look past my personality and automatically want me. But you’d be wrong. I spent so long being conditioned that I was on my own and that no one understands me, and to this day, I have been given little proof of otherwise. I know that there were other people who might have gone through hardships through their lives, but those people are rare and most of them are already my friends, the rest just manufactured a tough childhood in their heads to give them the feeling that they are geek-chic radicals which is a bit like a guy getting off a plane for the first time at LaGuardia and deciding that he’s a true New Yorker.
Fashion is fashion and has no relationship to culture, personality and intellect. Why do people mistakenly think that it does? The same reason why I have trouble relating to girls because they insist they are ‘nerds’ so they can feel stylish in their Mary Janes and horned rim glasses. Yet, anything that I like that is truly nerdy, (video games, comic books, cartoons, etc.) they can’t stand and find it childish that I still enjoy them. I have never given people the impression of me that I didn’t want them to have. Maybe some people think I’m an asshole. That’s fine, I want them to think that, so that’s the image I put forward. However, no one can say that I’m something I’m not. This is simplicity of character, yet it is so overlooked by people who’d much rather look hip than be themselves. I often think that if they were given the ultimatum, they wouldn’t even know what being themselves means.
Now don’t think that I’m trying to be self-righteous because I think that I know who I am. I used to try so hard to fit in when I was young because I didn’t have any friends for such a long period of my life. Only after realizing that I can enjoy myself all alone, and hanging out with people who made it clear to me that I don’t have to be like them to be their friends, only then did I really start feeling that I was my own person.
Ever since the nineties, America has been shrouded in a cloud of self-absorption. Everyone believes that they will be rich directors/rockstars/actors/artists/whatevers so they float through life thinking that they are culturally and socially superior to everyone around them, yet they follow the leads of whatever that came before them because originality is too challenging, so they just use the blueprints of revolutions that happened generations ago.
The problem with that is that those revolutions have been bought out over the years. All the hippies that use to protest Vietnam and wanted to get in touch with nature are all driving SUV’s and are fighting for pension benefits in a management job. Why should the punks/thugs/goths/freaks be any different?
After the catastrophe of 9-11 and again with Katrina, you’d think that people would band together in the face of tragedy. That’s what the Nazis made up do in WWII. But just like a spoiled child, we know no discipline, so when we are disciplined we react with a month or two of real concern followed by a egotistical introspective pat on the back. It’s almost like a guy who knows someone who dies. If they were close then he will no doubt be affected, but if they were just casual friends, chances are it won’t affect him, but he’ll talk about it often so that people will think he’s somber and profound and will pay attention to him.
All that happened after such huge calamities is that the world dug itself deeper into its own pit of self-interest. No one wants to look at the rest of the world as real people, just as extras in the sitcom of their lives. No one actually talks to people, they just ask the obligatory questions to start a conversation, and then they wait for their cue to talk about themselves. I’ve caught myself doing this too. I hate it.
If we really want the Cultural Revolution that we have been begging for, it is going to come out of a desire to get away from the gimmicks of the past, not from emulating them because they were once associated with rebellion. It’s going to come from a sense of community and not from a desire to be famous. It’s going to come not from people who are repeating the same things that someone else once said or did, but from people who have something of substance to say and will find fresh ways to say it. There are new mediums out there, especially thanks to technology, but if people are still limited in what they think or care about, then it doesn’t matter how much they use the phrase “think outside the box” because they will never ever think outside the box.

REVIEW: Call of Duty 2 (PC)

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 09:26:38 GMT

Time to buy war bonds, kiddies.
How many World War II first person shoot-em-ups have there been? Too many. I don’t even think any of them allow you to actually kill Hitler, not since Wolfenstein 3D anyway.
You may be saying to yourself, “Why would I want to play another stinkin’ WWII FPS?” And the first thing I’d say to you is: “What do all those letters stand for?”
Listen up, Private Joker. I’m only going to tell you this once: This is Call of Duty 2. The first game was one of the best of the WWII shooters and if you don’t agree with me, you at least have to concede the fact that they certainly streamlined the genre.
Call of Duty 2 was going to be a very hard title for Infinity Ward to develop. Do you want to keep playing the same game over and over again with renovated graphics? Trigger fingers rejoice. This is Call of Duty 2.
You play three campaigns: Russian, British, and American. Nicely enough, you don’t have to complete the missions in order. If you are frustrated with one area, you can move to a different mission and come back later to the other.
The levels look good. They’re a bit grittier, which I suppose translates to realism. They’re drearier, which makes for a much more distinct bleakness. The gray smog is nicely rendered through the air. All the farmlands and towns are pretty much free roaming. This means you can wander about in places that you’ve cleared and have more freedom of tactics when dealing with oncoming enemies.
The enemy AI is much improved. The Nazis don’t just pop up and shoot, they come after you in droves and they’re better at hiding. I got beaten to death several times early in my game because I walked into a building that I thought I cleared with grenades. These guys have the basic instincts of survival and will run and hide until you think it’s safe. They will attack you when you least expect it and they will hide in the dark to pop out and kill you before you realize who’s shooting at you. Your teammates however, still walk right into the view of a machine gunner.
All of this, the darker visuals, the higher body count, the sheer scale of the level design; it really does make for more of a feeling of hopelessness. You begin to feel a sense of agoraphobia when you are separated from your teammates in the ruins of an abandoned town.
Now, I gave the impression that your teammates’ AI is shitty. In truth, it’s a lot better too. When you’re being blasted at from every angle they actually serve a purpose other than as human shields. They yell out directions or hours of the clock to direct you to enemies that you might not see. That gives you a much better sense of teamwork than just the useless chatter of the previous game.
I really have only one negative. To me it seems that they borrowed a bit too much from Halo 2 with the removal of the health indicator and the leveling out of weapons. The health meter, I can live with because there are constant checkpoints so it’s not as if the health was that necessary to begin with. The guns however, are a different matter.
With all the guns having pretty much the same muscle, the realism of shooting is seriously affected. I found that using pretty much any rifle works with the same accuracy, so just pick up the one that holds the most. The kickback is more realistic looking. But that just makes the machine guns almost useless. I’m not a run & gun type of player to begin with, but I couldn’t help but notice how little I picked them up this time around.
Still, I don’t want to nitpick. After all, Call of Duty 2 is still frantic and fast paced. It’s a great way to realize, just a little bit, how truly heroic the man who fought back then were. And they didn’t have save points.

RETRO REVIEW: Maniac Mansion (NES)

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 10:52:38 GMT

Maniac Mansion is a Classic. That’s it. There’s nothing more that can be said about it or added to it now. Not twenty years later. There’s no need to mention the ingenuity of game design; the distillation of the text adventure genre into the basic verbs you need, and dragging the verb to the item that it applied to, thereby birthing the entire point & click genre. Yet, I just did. Ha.
You had to switch back and forth on the fly between characters to open up sections for other characters to further, This is another element of this game that even as old as it is, it’s overlooked today. These different characters led to multiple methods of gameplay and more brilliant multiple endings!
[This alone needs to be reexamined by modern game designers who wonder why their games have no replayability.]

If I were to geek out and break down this game into all of its mechanics, I can. I’ve done it before, just like private Pyle disassembled Charlene before he tucked her in. I’m not gonna do that. This game stands alone. It’s brilliant, yes. No one will deny that, but for me it goes so much deeper.
Maybe I always wanted to bash Dave for being such a wanker as to not notice his blonde, busty, cheerleader girlfriend running off to some secluded creepy old mansion in the first place. Maybe I wanted to push him down a flight of stairs for running to his friends and begging for help like a 4’9” skinhead picking a fight with a 6’ bouncer just to get his boys to back him up. To hell with Dave. If only we could have pushed him aside and taken a third member who was worthwhile having on the team.
The fact is, that you have to choose two kids besides Dave to break into the mansion with you. This is the brilliance coming forth again. Even in this point & click game where you only have one method of interacting, you are given a level of strategy in who you choose.
You have to get to know each character, their skills, their quirks. They each had something to add to the table and once you figured that out it was another task to figure out which team suited your style, your method.
I’ve played every configuration of the game and have gotten every ending. That said; when I play for the fuck of it I always beat it in under ten minutes, and I always choose the same two kids: Bernard and Razor.
Why? Well you always choose Bernard unless you want to spend hours upon hours rooting around for unmarked stamps, undeveloped film, and a fucking single quarter to play an arcade machine. He is the nerd. Bernard in this game is what Arnold is in every shitty action movie in the eighties, the true capable hero who knows how to handle himself. Aside from running like a girl when he first encounters the Green Tentacle, he’s everything Dave isn’t.
Why Razor? I could have just as easily picked Syd. Both Razor and Syd share the same abilities in the game, both can play the piano and both can get that contract, both had phenomenal game music; which, it cannot be denied, Dave had great music too, it almost makes up for his having absolutely no other redeeming values
Both Razor and Syd can nuke that hamster in the microwave, which as a kid was honestly one of the most morbidly satisfying pieces of gaming history that has ever been(right up there with killing off your wife and kids in Oregon Trail), but still, why Razor?
It could be that for me, she held a level of mystique and a sensuality to her that the goody-two-shoes Wendy just never had going for her.
Why Razor? Why indeed? Maybe you could suggest that she seduced me. Maybe you could suggest that it was my own boyish desires personified. She was tough, sexy, aggressive; everything a spotty-faced nerd stuck in his room playing games would ever want.
Maybe you could suggest that every moment I spent playing through the house, exploring each room, trying to figure out item combinations or switches to advance, were spent devoted to fantasies of a sexy hair-sprayed red haired punk rocker being pressed hard against a kitchen counter while I grope her legs feeling torn fishnets. The smell of scotch and pot. Her sharp hoop earrings pressing into my neck. Red lipstick smearing all over our intertwined lips. Fondling her boobs, which were barely covered in the first place by a black halter, while a poor little hamster that we stole from some kids room earlier looks at me with a pang of sorrow and a squeak of pity and in one final, adorable breath…
DING!
But then I’d have to slap you for talking that way about her.
Still, there is something about this game that touched me deeply and not in that drunken uncle on a camping trip kind of deeply, you perv.
This game has a dark, mature nature to it’s humour. It’s sophisticated, but not in a way that can’t laugh at a decent fart. That’s the mystique it holds to me. And of course, personifying it, in the center of it, on a pedestal, is my sexy, dirty, skanky, slutty… Razor.

Naked Lunch

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 00:21:08 GMT

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vN1D5jJAHTs

A must see for anyone.

jesus

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 17:33:08 GMT

I FUCKING HATE CHRISTIANS! Somehow they can use their religion to spread hate and ignorance and if you judge them negatively, they tell you that YOU are closed-minded. I hate all Christians and I hope they all die young so they can see that either 1. there is no god or 2. god hates them.

RETRO REVIEW: Police Quest 2 (DOS)

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 07:30:29 GMT

I suppose that now-a-days there is a huge difficulty in trying to convey the scope of how Police Quest or even any of Sierra’s text games affected gaming history, but seeing as how I played these series of games since I was still having trouble shitting my pants, I sort of have more perspective. Police Quest 2 was the sequel to one of the most true-to-life adventure games, ever. It was so thorough that real police stations would have copies of the game on their computers to give rookies a feeling of what kind of mindset real police officers needed to have. This is the element of the game that made me feel uneasy playing it.
This game puts you in the shoes of Sonny Bonds, Vice cop for the Lytton Police Department in Lytton, California. The murderous drug dealer, Jessie Baines, who we caught in the prequel to this game, has escaped and you must hunt him down. You don’t hunt him down like a criminal mastermind in a buddy cop film. You have to take leads that you get from witnesses, you have to track him down like a real detective.
Truthfully…This game was not very much fun. It was very official. It’s a bit slow, but very in depth. Every little nuance affected whether or not you could make it through to certain parts, so many times you found yourself reloading saved games just to inch a tiny bit further. One part comes to mind where you have to SCUBA dive to recover a corpse. I died so many times just getting caught up in the water’s current. Sonny Bonds is a good character that you grow to love, so when he dies you feel a sense of shame for your carelessness in letting him die. It’s not like Leisure Suit Larry where his failure or death seems more satirical. There is something more human about Sonny Bonds and his life splayed out in game format makes you connected to him as if he were a real person.
I’m gonna open up to you a little bit here…When I was a child I had a terminal heart condition and I spent a huge chuck of childhood in the hospital befriending children who would later go on to die before they reached their teens. This gives you a fucked up sense of life and death. Police Quest 2 helped me get through this truly very painful time in my life, so it has a special place in my heart. Playing this game on PS1(not Playstation, but the IBM PS1) with three game disks was probably the best fun I could have ever had in a time where the few friends I had are dead now. Maybe this makes me morbid, but this also makes me know that if not for the physical requirements of police work, I’d make a damn fine detective.

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:24:32 GMT

I'm such an emo faggario.. It's fucked up how one minute you are drinking , laughing having a good time, talking in a fake scottish accent to your reflection in the mirron and replying back in a japanese accent, and then you start feeling like a waste of flesh. fuck this .. I'm gonna go listen to The cure and cut myself.

Every man must go here and read up.

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 22:50:19 GMT

http://www.nomarriage.com/

My mom's boyfriend is the most boring human being ever.

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 17:26:44 GMT

Ugh!!! I cannot hang around my mom's boyfriend, nor my mother when she's with him because there is something that makes me physically nauseous to see two middle aged people talk to each other like children. It's not even in that "I'm in love" kissy-face voice, it's seriously like they are talking to children, they make bad puns and laught like they're Richard Pryor. The man somehow takes hours to explaine something that would take a normal human beng two minures to say. He's a nice guy, but holy shit he's boring and he tries way too hard to be my pal. I'm too fucking old for that type of bullshit. He should just be with my mom, he and I are not friends, will never be friends, have nothing in common, nothing to talk about, I'd rather tear into my wrists with broken mirrors than talk to him.

Life's not easy for a fan of Surf music

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 01:34:47 GMT

I can hardly ever find ever find surf music on the net. Woe is me.

CHURCH KEY!!!!!!!!!

News

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 16:38:13 GMT

Cheney is goint to talk to FOX news. hmmm, I wonder if those flag waving right leaning nazis will ask hardhitting questions?

I bet they'll slant it like the man who got shot jumped in front of his shotgun like a madman

Something I'm sick of

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 14:53:41 GMT

I'm sick of seeing hip hop artists taking their little rapper names from old punk/metal bands. You're not original enough to think of your own name don't steal the name of a band thats been around for decades. Rap in general has been boring and devoid of meaning since the late 90's. When you don't have a race riot to sing about then you have to yammer on about gold chains and chrome rims. Pathetic.

VD

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 21:51:19 GMT

Is it just me or does it seem equally stupid to celebrate Anti-Valentines Day as it is to celebrate Valentines day. That's just like saying "I'm rebelling against something just for the sake being a rebel even though its irrelevant either way, TEE HEE!" People are so easily swayed by gimmicks and bullshit even when they think it's coming from counter culture. Either way you are NOT an individual, you are NOT a free thinking radical, you are just a joiner and a follower, no matter what fashionclique you belong to. Fucking Teenyboppers

Fuck rock music in the 2000 decade

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 19:03:55 GMT

I really want to start a concept band. Just make music for fun and not some artsy bullshit emotional crap. that's the problem with music today it's so desperately trying to be deep and introspective that it removes all the fun. It's like over-analyxing a racist joke. It's just a joke its supposed to be fun, not a reflection of the world around. I am sick of everyones feelings and trying to empathize. Everyone is so desperate to have the attention on themselves. to show off their sensitivity, but it's all bullshit.

I love this band

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 22:29:25 GMT

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 20:18:10 GMT

1. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
Stones, Beatles are for teenyboppers and kids who like pop

2. Queen or The Eagles?
Queen

3. Ozzy or Dio?
Ozzy, that isn't even questions.

4. Iron Maiden or Judas Priest?
Judas Priest

5. Jimi Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughn?
I could give a fuck about either, but Hendrix I guess.

6. The Beach Boys or The Monkees?
The Monkees They were more rocking than alot of faggy hippie bands in those days.

7. Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen or Joe Satriani?
I like them all...To drive drunk into a telephone pole with a carfull cans of gasoline.

8. Led Zeppelin or The Who?
I could give a shit about either of these bands, They both have pedophiles in their bands

9. Pink Floyd or Yes?
Neither, they should have dropped dead back in the 70's

10. Queensryche or Rush?
Rush!! Every Queensryche album sdhould come with a cock that you can suck on.

11. Lynyrd Skynyrd or Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR)?
I guess CCR.

12. KISS or AC/DC?
AC/DC, they don't wear homo outfits to hide behind

13. Nirvana or Pearl Jam?
Neither, fuck them both and fuck Grunge

14. Favorite Member of the Beatles?
Harrison, the only one with any rocking songwriting talent.

15. Favorite Member of the Who?
The kid-toucher

16. Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall?
I couldn't listen to that faggot hippie shit if you fed me mescaline and deepthroated me during every song.

17. Guns N' Roses or Motley Crue?
The Crue

18. Ratt or Quiet Riot?
Quiet Riot man!

19. Bob Dylan or Eric Clapton?
FUCK THEM BOTH, could we mention an artist that's not an old fuck?!

20. Hair Metal or Heavy Metal?
heavy metal

21. The Clash or The Sex Pistols?
Clash, Sex pistols weren't even a real band.

22. The Mars Volta or Coheed & Cambria?
Both of them should have been lumps on the delivery room floor

23. Black Sabbath or Deep Purple?
Sabbath, don't insult them by contrasting them with another band

24. Randy Rhoads or Zack Wylde?
Rhoads, but Wylde is such a close second that it should be tied.

25. Aerosmith or Bon Jovi?
I'll say Bon Jovi, because I didn like slippery when wet and because I hate fucking Aerosmith.

26. David Lee Roth or Sammy Haggar?
DAVID LEE ROTH, It's Van Haen, not Van Hagar.

27. Van Halen or Def Leppard?
Thats a toughy. Van Halen, but Def Leopard fucking rocked hard

28. Brian Johnson or Bon Scott?
BOT SCOTT, MUTHAFUCKER!!! DEATH BY MISADVENTURE

29. Velvet Revolver or Audioslave?
Faggot old farts either way.

30. Grace Slick or Janis Joplin?
Grace Slick pre Starship, Joplin overall, I guess.

31. Woodstock or Ozzfest?
Fuck them both.

32. Elton John or Billy Joel?
Wine drunk Billy Joel

33. Journey or Foreigner?
I could give a shit about either, but Journey did have some songs I like

34. Kazaa or Napster?
Those are programs to use if your 14 years old and don't know where to go to get music.

35. Beastie Boys or Run DMC?
beastie boys before they found god or buddha or whatever, and went all PC, SELLOUTS!!!!

36. Cinderella or Whitesnake?
Whitesnake, Cinderella made me want to vomit in a childs mouth.

37. U2 or REM?
REM, Fuck that stupid mick, Bono. Automatic for the People.

38. Motorhead or Metallica?
Is this even a question?! MOTORHEAD! the other band started as a pussy copycat attempt of slayer

39. Dream Theater or King Crimson?
Fuck em both, and that artfag bullshit. Unless you're talking about King Diamond or King Missile, I don't give a shit.

40. Boston or Blue Oyster Cult?
Couldn't you think of two better one-hit-wonders?

41. The Cure or The Smiths?
The Cure.

42. Tom Petty or Dire Straits?
Neither, I like them equally.

43. Jethro Tull or The Doors?
The Doors.

44. Poison or the Scorpions?
Scorpions.

45. Skid Row or Twisted Sister?
Twisted Sister. Dee Snyder still rocks

46. Smashing Pumpkins or Radiohead?
Both of them should have died in 1995

47. Kansas or Nazareth?
I don't plan on going to either place.

48. ZZ Top or Blackfoot?
ZZ Top

49. Steve Miller Band or Marshall Tucker Band?
Steve Miller

50. Ted Nugent or Peter Frampton?
OLD FARTS

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:29:26 GMT

I'm tired of cliques. I'm sick of having different divisions of friends. most of my frends are just friends and I can go to clubs and shows and hang with them and everything is fun, but I still feel alienated and out of place. The only people who I feel truly comfortable aroudnare The Family, my very small group of friends who I consider to be my brothers. They don't like going out for pretty much the same reasons, None of us care that we don't fet in, (well as far as I know anyway) but for some reason, I still want to be part of something big. But the truth is everyone is alone. Everyone is equally or more confused about who or what they are and where their place is. I just can't seem to distract my mind away from this enough to not let it consume my thoughts.

Am I that boring?

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 04:39:33 GMT

I am such an awful person. my stupid adult ADD makes it so hard for me to have a normal conversation. It's not that I'm not interested in what people are saying, it's like tourettes where you can't control yourself from shifting focus.

Ok, I have to shit.

indulge yourself

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 21:24:06 GMT

Free Video iPods

I can't even find the words...

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 16:30:53 GMT

"A myspace thief is one who goes to your profile and looks at all your friends and steals one of them.....Particularly one of the opposite sex......Fuck you myspace thief (by the way there is one on the loose)"

I actually fucking read the previous statement posted on Myspace.

Holy shit I haven't used this in a long time

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 00:33:27 GMT

I haven't used this in so long, its not funny.
Shit shit fuck fuck ball tits chink nigger spic kike. I'll fuck your mother then make your daddy suck my dick with her juices still on me just so he can remind himself of what he can't satisfy anymore.

Yup. Still got it.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 07:43:23 GMT

I am starting to realize my place in life again. when I was young I was a loser and I stayed humble and never aspired to be anything that I knew I wasn't But now, I'm older and I meet people who like me for the very things that I was once ostrasized for. So Now it feels like I'm trying to be cool, but then I am not myself and I'm just a pathetic freeak trying to be someone he's not and thats more pathetic than being a loser was. I was reminded of my place the other day by someone who really hasn't got their shit together, so that makes me think I must really be a walking joke if they're telling me that I'm a poser. I swear everything will be alright one day. Just let me finally believe that.

We've got Bush

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 20:17:57 GMT

Ahh, Bush won. And I laugh at all me peers who made me feel like a traitor of some sort because I didn't follow the "anybody but Bush" ticket. The beautiful irony is that for all the ranting and yelling they all did, I kept on hearing about all these young people who didn't even bother to vote. Sure there might have been some new voters, but they didn't come throught and "Rock the Vote" like they said they would. I actually got out and voted. HA HA!!!1!11oneone!!1!!!!1!!!1111

Of course you Realize...

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 06:11:07 GMT

John Kerry Is this generation's Adlai Stevenson. He was a lame duck that the democratic party threw out there so that they wouldn't waste a decent candidate, they knew it was unwinnable from the beginning. If I was a democrat I'd be pissed, they lied to you.